The Confrontation

Standing there, feeling more alone than I have ever felt before, I waited nervously for her to answer the question I had just asked her. Was she in love with my fiancé? Since she had been expecting my fiancé to answer his phone and not me, I could hear her stuttering on the other end of the phone trying to decide what to say. I really didn’t want to believe that another woman could be in love with him, however, I asked the question again “so you are so in love with my fiancé, huh?”

The first words she uttered were “I don’t know what to say”.  I asked her if she was seeing him, which was a stupid question, but I needed to hear the answer.  She confirmed what I already knew.  She was, in fact, dating the man I had been building my life with for the last 5 years.  I asked her if she knew about me.  She not only knew about me, she also knew we had a son, or as she referred to him “the baby”, as well as his other kids.  I was extremely irritated with how she referred to my son as “the baby”.  He wasn’t “the baby”, he was the son I had with my fiancé.  He was “our son”.  She mentioned to me she knew we lived at home with my mother.  My fiancé had given so much knowledge about our life.  He gave her power by telling her about us.  I was furious to find out that she knew so much about me and our situation.  My next question to her was the kiss of death for me.  I wanted to know how long they had been seeing each other.  All of a sudden, she didn’t want to answer anymore of my questions.  She told me I should talk to him, which is the typical response from someone who was afraid to give too much information without checking with him first.   I explained to her that I didn’t believe he would be honest and I needed to know the truth.  I wasn’t being nasty to her, even though I wanted to lash out in anger.  I knew I had to be gentle if I was going to get the information I desired.  I said “from one woman to another, please just tell me”.  She admitted to seeing him for a year and a half.  That’s when I lost all sense of control.  I said in a completely sarcastic tone, “you’re such a classy woman”.  She asked me if I had suspected him of cheating and I told her of course, that was why I had his phone.  What she said next, made my stomach turn, she told me that she was aware of him being arrested.  This man had taken time to call her and tell her that he was in jail, as if this was any of her business.  Why did she need to know this information?  She wasn’t his family, she was just the whore who was messing around with my man.  I was in awe of the next question she then asked me.  I couldn’t understand how someone could be so insensitive as this woman appeared to be.  She asked me if he was ok.  What??????  Was he ok??????  I couldn’t even fathom that she could ask me such a question.  My world just fell apart and this woman, if you could even call her that, was concerned about his well being.  My response to her was, “I’m not going to tell you shit about him.”  All I could respond next was “you both seem to talk so much, I’m sure you will be hearing from him soon.”  I hung up the phone.  As there was no point in continuing the conversation. 

I was in total shock, however she maliciously continued to gloat.  Her voice held no remorse it was more relief than anything.  I believe she was happy the affair was out in the open and finally they could ride off into the sunset together.  A year and a half they were together, including while I was pregnant with his son.  I wondered how he could do such a thing.  Was he in love with her?  Did he want to be with her?  Did he still love me?  How could I still care about him after all I had just found out?  How was I going to confront him about this?  

About an hour passed before I received a phone call from him.  I asked him how he was and if he knew what was going to happen, since he was still in jail.  He told me he would go before the judge, but he just didn’t know when.  I asked him if he was going to be released tonight.  He didn’t know.  I then took a deep breath, braced myself and asked “will you be staying at your girlfriend’s house tonight?  You’re not welcome here anymore.”  He was silent on the other end.  I repeated my question.  His only response was “you went through my phone?”  I told him “yes I did and I know all about your girlfriend of a year and a half and I’m completely disgusted.” I was happy I was able to hold my composure, while making sure he knew it was over between us.  He told me that his relationship with her wasn’t like that and he had to go but would call me back.

I hung up confident in my decision to end the relationship, however, it would not be the last call I would receive from him that night.

Jezika 🙂


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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ahhhhhhgh you’re killing!

  2. Hey chic…this was great…well, should I say; this was great writing. As I’m sure this was not a “great” situation for you to go through. I couldn’t imagine finding this out but even more, finding this out AND not be able to put my hands on him. Girl, you KNOW jail is where he needed to be to keep him safe from you!

    Keep it up!

    • Thanks hon, you know how hard it was for me to write this. I think he was in the safest place that day….SMG!!!! I couldn’t do it without your help. Love ya.

  3. Oh shit! Can’t believe you didn’t break that phone! sounds horrible, I’m dying to know what this guy said to even make you consider takin him back! I’d be pissed for a looong time after hearin that woman’s voice!! I hope you hurry up on this next blog! 🙂 and hope they both learned their lesson big time!!!!!

    • LOL….well I was angry for a long long long time afterward. That’s the hardest part hearing her voice and the stupid things she would say. It took so much strength not to do anything. I won’t let it go long without posting. My bad!!

  4. Jezi,
    I’m so sorry you went through this hell. I can’t wait to read how you dealt with this situation.

  5. Jezica – I’m so very sorry got the pain his affair caused you then and probably to this day, although not as deep. I know that pain all too well as my husband had an affair and got the other woman pregnant. It was the worse pain I’ve ever experienced and still painful to a lessor degree 5 years later.

    My mind couldn’t deal with the pain and I “blocked” it from my mind for two years but after that shock wore off three years ago, it really hit the fan! I am still seeing a counselor to this day.

    I don’t know how much help I could be, as you seem to be making better progress than I, but if I can help you in any way, you now have my email addy. Best of luck to you and your precious son!


    • Hi Jade, thank you so much for telling me your story. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn’t even imagine how much pain you went through and still have to go through since he has a child with the other woman. I don’t think it’s something you can ever truly “get over”. You have unbelievable strength for what you have dealt with. I would love to email you back and forth. I will send you an email from my personal address. It’s always helpful to speak with someone whose had experience with these types of betrayals. Whether I’m healing or healed it’s still nice to know I’m not alone in my feelings. Good luck to you as well in your recovery.

  6. I’m dying to read whats next with a feeling of dread as I feel all the pain u mustve gone through-I wish I had someone to talk to that went thru this at the time (5 years ago) cause I literally was an emotionally broken down girl with a huge rage at the “other woman-slut” and him as well
    All the best to u!!

    • I can honestly tell you that I also held on to a ton of anger and hatred to the other woman. I questioned how I could hate her more than him many times. I think it’s easier to hate the other woman because we have no emotional connection to them. My anger was out of control at one point. I will blog about that healing process and how I worked through those emotions. But it has been a long, tough road. I also felt very alone when I went through it. That’s partly the reason why I speak out about it now. I don’t want people to ever feel like they have no one to turn to.

  7. Jezika,

    ahhhh! I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I too was cheated on when I was pregnant. It was the most horrible feeling ever!! But I got through it and married a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. I wish you luck for the future and for your son. You deserve it!


    • Hi Sarah, thank you for sharing. It is horrible because you feel so insecure as is. I’m so happy you found a wonderful man. You never know what the future holds right? Thank you for your kind words.

  8. Your doing good sweetie. Don’t let anybody tell you different. This is a safe place people can come and realize they are not alone. Infidelity has a way of making you feel isolated. Hugs to all who post here.
    You WILL come through it stronger and wiser. I know it this will sound cliche but time can be your friend.
    Take it one minute at a time *hugs*

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